Bloomin Idea

WriterMom wrote a post which reminds us that the word "Kindergarden" means Garden of Children.

Oh how delightful!


-Photo by Anne Geddes

Funny Emails

I got one of those funny e-mails today, and thought the satire worth sharing:

Never take life seriously. Nobody gets out alive anyway.

Whenever I feel blue, I start breathing again.

If quizzes are quizzical, what are tests?

If electricity comes from electrons, does morality come from morons?

Chicken Sh*t

When the civilized Cartesian rebels known as Puritans, (aka: immigrants) risked their lives to escape religious and political persecution in Europe, they knew they would face many dangers. They threw caution to the wind and crossed the ocean in rickety little slave ships, devoid of toilets, saying "Who careth how bad it smells!"

They gave up everything, from porridge to potatoes, to forge a new life in the wilderness of the America's. They were willing to risk their lives for Freedom, and multi colored Indian Corn.

This is our legacy, or heritage, and our proud history (that is if you skip the Indian part, and the slavery thing) But outside of those minor details, we can all stand tall when we salute the flag.

Yes indeed we are a strong nation and a brave people! There's no doubt about that.

So we set to work, killing off all the Bison,



Ridding the forests of Bear. (Yes, folks, once upon a time, there were forests 'round here.)



When they were gone, we turned our sights of Wolf, Cougar, Eagle, Hawk and Owl.




The resulting overpopulation of Deer was not a problem, cuz we gots a whole bunch of folks who likes ta shoot dem! (They don't bite back.)

Animals are here for us to do with as we will. We breed, butcher, hunt, skin, harvest, eat, own, break, train, torture, pen, rope, brand, crop, harness, race, hunt, package, whip em and wear em, whenever and wherever we want.

When it comes to the things of nature, we have convinced ourselves that the world is our plate of pancakes, and we re going to flip it, trip it, and drip it any way we darn well please,

and that ain't no flap, jack.


Of course, The States just weren't big enough fer all the killin we was prone to, so we came up with new and better ways to exploit the land, up north in Alaska.




But even that did not quench our thirst for destruction, so when there were no wild things left, we turned on the dog.



Man's best friend.

Cuz they is SCARY critters.

And we want to be "Safe."

As a nation, we are shaking in our shoes over all sort of fears and terrors these days. (Me thinks that brave stock we came from, has been watered down a teensy weensie bit.)

Now we are afraid of our food animals.

Look out for the Mad Cows!



Heck, we are even afraid of chickens.



Avian flu.

"Quick, KILL all the Chickens!"

Chicken genocide.
HenOcide!



I wonder what would our Brave Founding Fathers think of all this yeller bellied sniveling?

I imagine they would think it fitting that we all die from infectious chicken Sh*t.

And maybe we should.

CROAK!

I just got back from the big grade school art show with my munchkins, and oh what a divine comedy of frolicking fun it was.
There is nothing quite like an evening packed into a smelly grade school weaving through swarms of wealthy white people who are all pretending to be from Mr. Rogers neighborhood.



We squeezed past pregnant mothers, snot nosed kids, and disgruntled dads, to seek out the art my kiddies had on display. This only took about half an eternity, as there were only thirty thousand mini masterpieces plastering the walls like a Sesame Street explosion.



When I was mere inches from going Columbine, we finally found my boy's frog sculpture. I must say I liked it. There was something in the expression that moved me, (or maybe it was the mosh pit of parents, moving me along the hallway like fans at a Smashing Pumpkins concert.)

Anyway, I told him I loved it, he beamed with pride, and we got out alive.

Im home now, safe and sound, with cocktail in hand, only mildly traumatized from the energy of that wholesome goody two shoes mob of Plastic Revlon Barbies.

Maybe I'll run for office on the platform of mandatory, State Subsidized Abortion.

Garlic Mustard

Garlic mustard is an herb with heart-shaped leaves that gives off an odor of garlic when crushed. German immigrants brought the plant to The United States in the early 1800's for it's culinary and medicinal use. Once introduced to an area, garlic mustard takes over and spreads like crazy. It has become a problem in the northeast as native plants are deprived of light, water and space to grow, when garlic mustard moves in. It replaces native plants used as food by local wildlife, and puts stress on the ecological balance, most notibaly wildflowers and butterflies. In Europe, Garlic Mustard is consumed by 69 species of insects, who keep it's growth in check. None of these predators inhabit North America.

Here in The States, Garlic mustard is called "the villain of the valley" because of it's reputation for aggressively monopolizing soil, space, and nutrients. However, several studies have shown that garlic mustard may not be as wicked as claimed. "One study found that areas with garlic mustard had the same species diversity as those without, over a three year period. A second study found that jewelweed, a native plant, out competed garlic mustard."

If you have garlic mustard growing in your area, it is a good idea to do the work that the bugs do in Europe. Keep the plant in check by pulling it out by the roots. You may then eat it, use it as medicine, or put it in the garbage, but remember not to compost pulled weeds. The seeds in the compost will just make the problem worse over time.

There are many medicinal uses for garlic mustard. Ingesting the leaves will induce sweating and treat respiratory problems like asthma and bronchitis. Applied as a poultice, it is effective itching from insect bites and stings.

"The many culinary names of garlic mustard are suggestive of its historic use as a potherb in its native countries. This was particularly true in the winter and the early spring, as there are few other greens available. The leaves of young plants can be eaten raw as a salad or can be cooked as a steamed vegetable, like spinach. It can also be used with other foods to impart a garlic flavor. It has been promoted for its high vitamin A content 8,600 units per 100 grams) and its high vitamin C content (190mg per 100 grams)."

In Maryland, The Friends of the Patapsco Valley and Heritage Greenway hold a Garlic Mustard festival each year, that includes a Garlic Mustard picking contest, a poster contest, and a Garlic Mustard Cook-off.


Here is the prize winning recipe from professional chef Robert Dunn from The Garlic Mustard Cook's Challenge 2003



You know the old saying: When life gives you garlic mustard...Make Pesto!


Garlic Mustard and Spinach Raviolis with Garlic Mustard Pesto

Raviolis:
4 shallots / 1 clove garlic
2 cups spinach
2 cups garlic mustard
4 oz. ricotta cheese
2 oz. Parmesan cheese
2 oz. chopped sundried tomotoes
6 sheets fresh pasta

Saute shallots and garlic in 2 Tbl butter until tender. Add spinach and garlic mustard greens & wilt. Season with salt and pepper. Remove from pan and cool slightly. Squeeze excess liquid from green and chop. Combine all ingredients and season to taste. Cut pasta sheets to desired size. Eggwash pasta and fill with garlic mustard and spinach mixture.

Pesto:
1 cup garlic mustard
½ cup basil
3 cloves garlic
2 oz. toasted pinenuts
4 oz. olive oil
juice of 1 lemon

In food processor combine all ingredients except olive oil. Puree and add olive oil with processor running. Toss cooked raviolis with pesto.

Time required: 1 hr. Serves 10.

Foxes

Here are a few pics of a den of foxes The Ohio Wildlife Center is monitoring. Are they not just toooo cute!


Momma


Pups (Kits)


Awe

Hide in Plain Sight

For Tree:


Look at the color and pattern of this owls feathers. It looks remarkably like a Tree.



Owls spend twenty or more hours per day sitting perfectly still, blending in with the trees for protection.



Owls are common all over the world, but very rarely noticed.
Maybe that's why they are associated with Magic and Mystery.

What a Hoot!

We have a new baby at the Wildlife Center. This is Woodsey, a baby Great Horned Owl. Woodsey fell from his nest and was brought to the center for treatment. She will not be released because the poor thing was born almost completly blind. The good news is that she has imprinted on us humans as foster parents, and is happy as a lark.


Woodsey will live a long and healthy life as an ambassador for Ohio wildlife.


My daughter Shelby introduces herself to her new friend.


When Woodsey grows up, she will look like this:

Check out those Talons! Whoa!
I remember the first time I had a Great Horned on the glove. The power of those feet took my breath away.


No bird has as much myth and mystery surrounding it than the owl. Owl is a creature of the night and has been symobolically associated with prophecy and wisdom because it can see what others cannot.

As power animal, Owl encourages you to develop your intuitive abilities and inner senses, and to seek the knowledge that is hidden. Little Woodsey may not see as well as other owls, but Im sure this baby will develop great intuition over time.

Owls fly silently and teaches us to go about our business quietly. They are expert hunters, and rarely miss the prey they target. This teaches us to keep a sharp eye on our goals. Woodseys goal is to be the poster child for her species by educating humans to respect and protect wildlife.

Chuckle of the Day

Over at Waking Ambrose where guests are asked to define words using satire, O'Ceallaigh defines the word "Genesis" as "The Serpent Anti-Defamation League's principal object of scorn."

Too Funny!

Check out the site, and if you are the satirical sort, e-mail the author and request to be the next guest.

Mindwalk

Garnet recently asked me if I had seeen a film called"Koyaanisqatsi. The title is a Hopi Indian word meaning "life out of balance." The film is an apocalyptic vision of the collision of two different worlds; urban life and technology versus the environment. The musical score was composed by Philip Glass. Glass also composed the score for Powaqqatsi and Mindwalk. (Click the link to view the movie trailer.)

I LOVE Mindwalk! I have watched this movie over a dozen times, and still find myself in awe each and every time I view it. It is not really a movie in the conventional sense. It is a distertation on systems theory, politics, poetry and life, caught on tape.

Adapted from Fritjof Capra's book, "The Turning Point," a poet, politician and physisist discuss old and new models of the universe, from the mechanistic model of Newton, Gallellio and Copericus, to the new ideas of systems theory, quantum physics and evolution. They quote poet Pablo Neruda and politician Julius Nyrere. They talk Descartes and Jefferson, Blake and Nostradamus. They go from macro to micro and back again. In "Mindwalk" the theme of this ongoing conversation is no less than Everything.

If you enjoy brain aerobics, this movie is a wonderful workout. (And for you feminist thinkers, it portrays a female as an intellectual, highly respected scientist, who never once kisses the hero, needs to be saved, or dons a bikini.) The woman in this film uses her ideas to make the world a better place for future generations. She venerates nature, speaks her mind, and is the embodyment of "wisewoman."

View the trailer, watch the film, Read the Book. You won't regret it.

Being Peace

I am proud to promote the efforts of one of my readers; soul sister, Vennila nr Kain:

"To mark the third anniversary of the official declaration of the War on Iraq, artist Vennila nr Kain sets up her prayer flags (for peace) in Times Square.

The installation is a delicate network of crisscrossed prayer flags similar to the Tibetan prayers flags strung over sacred spaces. The wind carries up the prayers from the flags to the realm of gods, or as blessings over land. This window installation is part of the ongoing series of ‘being peace’ art created by the artist."

Vennila is an actor, poet, yogini, performance artist, humbly committed to the Gandhian philosophy of being the change she wants to see in the world. Support her efforts at http://www.vennila.net

Spring Break

Liz Straus got me dreaming of Florida with her imaginary vacation posts. So when spring break hit, we packed up the car and headed south! We rented a boat and took her out on the Gulf to Anclote Island. Anclote is an uninhabited island on the nature coast of Florida, filled with whispering pine trees, sandy shores, and eagle nests.


I taught my son how to drive the boat, read channel markers, navigate the ocean, and use the fish finder. Ya-all should have seen him! Cap'n Zac. My little man on the Sea!

We had big fun quoting lines from the movie "Jaws."

"Quint, Shut Down the Engine! She Can't Take any More!"
"We're Gonna need a Bigger Boat!."
""It's a twenty Footer."
"Twenty-Five..."
"I used to be afraid of the water."
"Funny, I can't Imagine Why."

and singing...

"Show me the way to go home
Im tired and I want to go to bed
I had a lil drink about an hour ago
and it got right to my head
whereever I may roam
by land or sea of foam
you can always find me singin this song
show me the way to go home..."




The sea breeze cleansed our spirits, and the lapping rhythm of the waves had the effect of a mother patting her babies gently on the back.






We also spent a day at my FAVORITE place in the whole wide world...Weeki-Wachee Springs.


Now that we are back, I have a million things to do, but it's comforting to know that our footprints might still be in the sand.