WriterMotherMomMe

This is a post for all mothers of little girls. It made me laugh so hard, I spilled my coffee.
Tampon Candy

Priceless!

My daughter and I sat in on a Catholic Mass today, because her little friend was in a ceremony saying the Rosary for the first time. "Hail Mary full of grace...)

When it was over I asked my daughter what she thought.

"Well, it was fine Mom, but why did the man in the dress tell the kids to say "Hell Mary"?"

Priceless!

Do you remember?

I let my little boy ride in the back of the car yesterday. Just a few blocks down a quiet side street to his friends house. Oh the joy he felt. Do you remember that feeling? Looking out the back window of the family car, watching the world roll by in reverse?
When I was very small, I was the last child to be dropped off of the school bus. One day I was crying. I don't remember the details, but I know that the bigger kids had been cruel. The driver stopped the bus and moved me to the front seat. I was terribly embarrassed. It seemed that putting up with any amount of teasing would have been a much better fate.

After the bullies got off the bus, the bus driver lady called me up to her. She showed me the "cockpit" and let me sit in her seat and steer the wheel. I asked if I could sit on the bottom step by the door. She said yes. I put my forehead against the glass and looked down at the glittering asphalt streaming by. It was magical. Mrs. Tinkerby let me do that every day for the rest of the year, but only after all the other kids had gotten off the bus. It was our secret!

I looked back at my son through the rear view mirror, and saw the way he hitched his elbow on the window, like a free man, with the world in his pocket.
Yeah, I remember how that felt.
Do you?

New Gameshow! Name That Diety!!!

If you can answer all 3 questions correctly, YOU WIN the GRANDDDDD PRIZE!

Question 1

- He was born of the virgin Maya, who was considered the "Queen of Heaven.
- He was of royal descent.
- He crushed a serpent's head.
- He performed miracles and wonders, healed the sick, fed 500 men from a "small basket of cakes," and walked on water.
- He abolished idolatry, was a "sower of the word," and preached "the establishment of a kingdom of righteousness."
- He taught chastity, temperance, tolerance, compassion, love, and the equality of all.
- He was transfigured on a mount.
- He was crucified in a sin-atonement, suffered for three days in hell, and
was resurrected.
- He ascended to "heaven."

HE WAS...BUDDHA
========================================

Question 2

- He contributed the name of Jesus Christ. He and his once-and-future Father, are frequently interchangeable in the mythos ("I and my Father are one").
- He was born of the virgin Meri on December 25th in a cave/manger, with his birth being announced by a star in the East and attended by three wise men.
- He was a child teacher in the Temple and was baptized when he was 30 years old. He was also baptized by "Anup the Baptizer," who becomes "John the Baptist."
- He had 12 disciples.
- He performed miracles and raised one man, el-Azar-us, from the dead.
- He walked on water.
- He was transfigured on the Mount.
- He was crucified, buried in a tomb and resurrected.
- He was also the "Way, the Truth, the Light, the Messiah, God's Anointed Son, the Son of Man, the Good Shepherd, the Lamb of God, the Word" etc.
- He was "the Fisher," and was associated with the Lamb, Lion and Fish.
- His personal epithet was "Iusa the "ever-becoming son" of "Ptah," the "Father."
- HE was called "the KRST," or "Anointed One," long before the Christians duplicated the story.
- In the catacombs at Rome are pictures of Him as a baby being held by his virgin mother.

HE WAS... the Egyptian God HORUS

(The ancient Egyptians also adopted the cross as a religious symbol of
their pagan gods. Countless Egyptians drawings depict themselves holding
crosses in their hands. Among them, the Egyptian savior Horus is depicted
holding a cross in his hand. He is also depicted as an infant sitting on his
mother's knee with a cross on the seat they occupy. The most common of the
crosses used by these pagan Egyptians, the crux ansata, was later adopted by
the Christians)


=========================================
Question 3

- He was born on December 25th.
- He was considered a great traveling teacher and master.
- He had 12 companions or disciples.
- He performed miracles.
- He was buried in a tomb.
- After three days he rose again.
- His resurrection was celebrated every year.
- He was called "the Good Shepherd.&"- He was considered "the Way, the Truth and the Light, the Redeemer, the Savior, the Messiah."
- He was identified with both the Lion and the Lamb.
- His sacred day was Sunday, "the Lord’s Day," hundreds of years before the
appearance of Christ.
- He had his principal festival on what was later to become Easter, at which
time he was resurrected.
- His religion had a Eucharist or "Lord’s Supper."

HE WAS... MITHRA

("He who will not eat of my body and drink of my blood, so that he will be
made on with me and I with him, the same shall not know salvation." An
inscription to Mithras which parallels John 6:53-54. This inscription is
inside the Vatican... in the tomb of saint peter.)

Spread Your Wings

We had a writer and professional photographer come to the Wildlife Center last week, to photograph some animals for a book.

When I brought Nakahaay out, I said "Spread your Wings Nakahhay. Show them how beautiful you really are."

To everyone's amazement, he did exactly that!



I think we should all spread our wings once in a while, and reveal our majestic beauty for the world to see.

Yeah, man, I'm on the rag!

Gloria Steinem wrote an amusing article titled: If Men Could Menstrate. You can link to the full text
here,
or just enjoy this excerpt:


So what would happen if suddenly, magically, men could menstruate and women could not?

Clearly, menstruation would become an enviable, worthy, masculine event:

Men would brag about how long and how much.

Young boys would talk about it as the envied beginning of manhood. Gifts, religious ceremonies, family dinners, and stag parties would mark the day.

To prevent monthly work loss among the powerful, Congress would fund a National Institute of Dysmenorrhea. Doctors would research little about heart attacks, from which men would be hormonally protected, but everything about cramps.

Sanitary supplies would be federally funded and free. Of course, some men would still pay for the prestige of such commercial brands as Paul Newman Tampons, Muhammad Ali's Rope-a-Dope Pads, John Wayne Maxi Pads, and Joe Namath Jock Shields- "For Those Light Bachelor Days."

Statistical surveys would show that men did better in sports and won more Olympic medals during their periods.

Generals, right-wing politicians, and religious fundamentalists would cite menstruation ("men-struation") as proof that only men could serve God and country in combat ("You have to give blood to take blood"), occupy high political office ("Can women be properly fierce without a monthly cycle governed by the planet Mars?"), be priests, ministers, God Himself ("He gave this blood for our sins"), or rabbis ("Without a monthly purge of impurities, women are unclean").

Male liberals and radicals, however, would insist that women are equal, just different; and that any woman could join their ranks if only she were willing to recognize the primacy of menstrual rights ("Everything else is a single issue") or self-inflict a major wound every month ("You must give blood for the revolution").

Street guys would invent slang ("He's a three-pad man") and "give fives" on the corner with some exchenge like, "Man you lookin' good!"

"Yeah, man, I'm on the rag!"

Adorable

About a year ago, I got all caught up in those cable TV decorating programs. Trading Spaces, Design on a Dime, and my all time favorite, The Christopher Lowell Show. Christopher would bounce into my living room every morning at ten, filling my mind with FABULOUS home decor concepts, while cheering me on with his mantra "YOU CAN DO IT!!!"

Ten Thousand Dollars later, I snapped out of my hypnotic decorating trance, with a new found confidence. YES! I COULD DO IT! I DID DO IT!
Of course, there are a lot of things I could do with ten thousand dollars, but that's beside the point.

The point is, this experience has taught me, that I have the two most adorable puppies in the entire civilized world.

Everyone who has a pet, claims that theirs is just the cutest lil thing ever, BUT I, KELLEY BELL, HEREBY PROCLAIM ALL RIGHTS and TITLES TO THE WORLD'S MOST ADORABLE PUPPIES.

Here are the pictures to prove it:

They decided to dig up my plants, while I was at work. (Its a new job...My second day.)


Mud covered my new custom drapes, and my freshly painted walls.



Forensic evidence was found throughout the house.



They even destroyed my UPLIGHTS! (A Christopher Lowell necessity to create Drama in a room.) Yea, Chris, come on over. I've got some drama for ya.



Lil Bears paws were snow white, but Sandy was COVERED in mud. It doesn't take Columbo to know she's the guilty girl !

So, in conclusion, I claim that my dogs hereby hold the title of WORLDS MOST ADORABLE PUPPIES, for if they were anything less, they would be "Pushin' Up Dasies" right now.

I, Im hooked on a feelin

I KNOW IN MY HEART THAT THIS VIDEOSHOULD BE PANNED, BANNED AND SLAMMED, BUT GOSH DERN IT, I FOUND MYSELF GRINNING, AND COULD NOT LOOK AWAY.

What IS IT about that Hasselhoff fellow anyway?

Breaking boundaries

Today, I met a dear friend, for the very first time. Garnet and I are part of a very special blogger community. We have shared our thoughts, dreams, wonders and fears, amid our close knit family of Stranger-Friends.

Meeting face to face, we did not know whether to shake hands or hug. We tried the first, then chose the latter. It seemed silly to start with introductory social conventions, when we already shared so much. But it was also inappropriate not to, for we had never actually met.

It must be like that when two celebrities meet.

As I am big on symbols, I gave him a chunk of quartz crystal. Folks into metaphysics claim that quartz amplifies the energies of other stones. I like that idea, and I thought it might help our Garnet, Glitter even more.

My daughter and I set up a Wildlife Display for the Concerts for Children series at The Ohio Theater, where Garnet plays principal clarinet for The Columbus Symphony Orchestra.

Hundreds of children came by our display before going into the show. We even ran into a few folks we know.


The display was great, the concert was grand, Garnet was a Gem, and my daughter and I spent an entire day together, as mother and daughter, supporting Wildlife Conservation, educating the public, experiencing the symphony, and making new friends.

It just doesn't get any better than that, does it?

Am I just Stupid or What?

My second grader asked me to help with his homework.

The paper says:
Put these event in the order they happened. Write the number 1 on the line by that sentence, then write 2 for what happened next and write 3 by what happened last.

______When did the man discover that Bobby was gone?
a) after 35 miles
b) five days later
c) at the end of the day


______What did Prince do just before he found his master?
a) Found the British Army
b) crossed the English Channel
c) Located the trench

Am I stupid, or was this written by someone on drugs?
(It was copied from a school workbook, and no, there was not a story to put it into context.)

Synchronicity

Carl Jung coined the term synchronicity. He defined it as an "acausal connecting principle." Religions often consider events of syncronicity miracles. The Catholic Church calls it "the providence of God."

One of many examples of Syncronicity, from my own life is the following story:

I was involved with a martial arts group that offered some of the best training around. During a late summer weekend camp, the group spent two exhausting days drilling to some Irish bagpipe music. We listened to the same song over and over and over again as we practiced.

The women worked just as hard as the men, but throughout the camp, they were repeatedly treated as second class by some of the more macho guys. I was irritated with Master instructor for condoning such behavior. I decided not to attend the next camp, in protest.

After sending a letter of regret and citing my reasons, I get a phone call from the camp director. She calls while Im outside painting my deck. (think Karate Kid: wax on wax off, sanda floor, paint da fence.)

We engage in a long discussion in which she tries very hard to change my mind. I told her I would think about it.

At the exact moment when I hung up the phone, a hawk flies over head and calls out. Then some stranger that I have never seen before, or since, appears on my neighbors deck with a set of bagpipes and begins to play.

He is playing THE SAME SONG we had been drilling to at the camp! Shivers went up my spine.

I took it as a sign, and went to the camp.

As if this alone was not weird enough, my toe gets broken during a knife fighting demonstration at camp. This forces me to sit out on the 3 mile hike. I end up alone in camp with the very person I have a beef with. We sit around the camp fire, and talk out the problem. Lo and behold, a hawk slowly circles over our heads, calling out as we talk.

Without knowing anything of my bagpipe experience, the old Burmese Master points to the hawk and says "You See, Kelley, You See? The Spirits are calling to you."

"Yes Sir. I See."

Goddess Child

Once Upon A Time...

There was a little girl, born in the Land of The Free,
and the Home of The Brave.

She was taught that she could become anything, even President,
though no girl had ever done THAT before.

She was taught the importance of education,
and read many books by Great Men.

She was told to get a job,
But to expect less pay then her male peers.

She was told to climb the Career ladder,
and bumped into a glass ceiling on the way.

She learned that misogyny
is oft ignored by the law.

She was expected to marry,
to Love, Honor and Obey.

She was taught to pray
to God the Father, and God the Son

She was told that bearing a child,
was punishment for Original Sin.

She was expected to be a good mother
while putting her children in daycare.

She learned that powerful men are Leaders
while powerful women are Bitches.

She was told to wave the flag and support a war
against the ones who "hate us for our Freedom"

And she wondered, if that war
might be better fought right here.

-Written by Kelley Bell 2006

(Creative Commons permission to copy and share is granted. But please site the author.)