Saturday, November 29, 2008

Holiday Gift Ideas

I came across this amusing little link over at Shakesville, and thought it would be nice to assist my fellow bloggers with their holiday shopping. So for those of you who missed Black Friday (or managed to survive it), heres a few ideas to get yer shop-hop in gear:

We begin with the
Darth Vader Toaster -a must for all creative cooks of the future, and it runs off the optional light saber battery pack too!

How about an upside down X-Mas tree to make the Yoga enthusiast of the family feel right at home.

There's the Star Trek Bottle Opener sure to beam up smiles from the sci-fi fans in the family, that is, if you can coax them to come up out of the basement.

Or how about some big bear feet. A great gift for the practical joker in the family who wants us all to believe BigFoot lives in the back yard.

(You never know...with a few well placed footprints in the snow, and a video upload to Youtube, you might just have the next big thing with this gift.)

And if all else fails, you could always get the family some gift certificates from Rocco's Tattoo Emporium.


Note to Self:

*-Call Grandmas doctor and have her medication changed

Happy Holydaze to all.

Thursday, November 27, 2008

WKRP Turkey Drop

"As God as my witness, I thought Turkeys could fly!"
-Mr. Carlson, WKRP in Cincinatti

Wednesday, November 19, 2008

Write Right

Illustration of a scribe writingImage via Wikipedia
Writers update:

It's been a busy week for my keyboard. Clackity-clack.

I submitted one article to Redbook and the Ladies Home Journal, of which I have not yet received a response. It usually takes about six weeks with the top tier rags, so no worries there mate...just anticipation.

I wrote another that was accepted to a magazine called Journeys, and two more for a newspaper called The Liberty Voice.

I am also making good progress on my novel, which feels great, because as writers well know, "The Novel" always seems to take the back burner to everything else in life.

This is the sixth book for me, well I should say the sixth attempt. The first was just something I put together as a supplement for classes I taught.

The second was a privately published collaboration for an organization I belong to.

The third was a disaster! I made the neophyte mistake of trying to put everything into it, including the kitchen sink. (It was going to be The Great American Novel, yanno.) Good Gatsby that thing reads like scattered pages bound up after a library bombing!

The fourth book is a work of historical fiction based on an Ohio family at the turn of the century. I made a DVD documentary to go along with it that is currently available at several libraries and the Ohio Historical Society. The book never got finished, but the documentary did, so I guess that's a partial success. One of these days, I'll get back to it, but not now.

The fifth attempt was a book I co-authored with a wonderful writer about women in politics. We self published to get it out there quickly for this years election, and even had a University Press lined up for wider distribution, but that one is now a dead horse. Pity. It was actually a respectable little piece of prose.

And now, I'm on number six.

This one is fun. I look forward to spending time with my characters and creating the world they live in. I am hopeful this one just might make it out of the nest and fly. It feels different than the others. It has an excitement and a comical edge to it that none of the others did. It also has a very pointed focus, which helps a lot.

I've learned so much about the craft of writing from this process, and all those lessons are showing up in the pages of this new work. -And really, that's the key...Mamma always said "Practice makes perfect!"

With that sentiment in mind, here's a great little story my fellow scribes might enjoy:

An esteemed Harvard professor and published author offered an advanced writing class all the students were clamoring to attend. On the first day, the lecture hall was packed. The instructor walked in, looked around the room and told the students to take out a pad of paper and a pen. Then he said, "So you all want to become writers heh? Well then WRITE!"

And with that, he left the room.

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Wednesday, November 12, 2008

Monkey Balls

I've got monkey balls in my basement. Also known as hedge apples or horse apples, these lumpy fruits of the Osage Orange tree are known by many for their use as a spider repellent.

My tweenkin daughter just moved into the basement, for some much sought after teen privacy and "space" so we went a walking to find her some monkey balls.

A few days later, my husband spotted a spider by the fireplace. As he was about to evict the little sucker, a thought occurred to me, and I stopped him dead in his tracks.


"Let's do an experiment. I want to see if those monkey balls really work."

So the family gathered round the hearth, with green ball and flashlight in hand, watching the reaction of our little eight legged intruder, as "Deal or No Deal" blared on in the background, ignored.


Ol' spidy did not mind the monkey ball one bit.

So we cut it in half to see if that would do the trick.

Still no reaction.

"I wonder what kind of spider he is?"

"I don't know, but I'll bet he comes from Washington D.C."


"Because he sure is slow to react."

With that, the family consensus was to head off to bead, and resume our research in the morning.

Of course, our little guest was still there the next day, happily spinning his home a mere six inches away from the horrid hedge apple.

Our conclusion: either monkey ball magic is a myth, or we have a spider with the soul of Martin Luther King, for he has surely overcome.

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Tuesday, November 11, 2008

Honoring Veterans day

My Grandmother: A real Rosie the Riveter!

Her dad: Leader of the 42nd Rainbow Division band under General Black Jack Pershing.

Grandmas twin brother: "Uncle Inky" a WWI Doughboy, who went off to war with his father at the tender age of 14.

Sunday, November 09, 2008

How Lame

In honor of Thanksgiving, and the soon to be upon us LAME DUCK
Season, I offer some amusing visuals to give you something to quack about.

"But I thought you didn't LIKE that bill..."

(I have several good captions for this one, but none I am willing to post on the web. So good readers, chime in and create your own.)

Did I mention I'm cooking for 14 people this Thanksgiving? Yeah, just pass me an apron and call me Dolly Domestic.
I can smell that turkey cookin already!

Saturday, November 01, 2008

Happy Halloween!

We had a great grand Halloween celebration with lots of kids and costumes. The neighbors all dropped by for "goul-osh, cider, and bunches of other pot luck treats. One gal did up a veggie tray with carrots sticking out of the dill dip. She put little radish slices on the tips to make it look like fingers. Creepy crunchy goodness. Yum.

My neighbors down the street put out a sign saying "HELP! We are surrounded by scary McCain Voters!" (Their house has an Obama sign, and their neighbors on both sides and across from them all have McCain signs.)

It was pretty funny.

For my part, I carved a political pumpkin. Late that night after the festivities were over, my kids and I snuck down to the Obama house, put our punkin on their porch, rang the doorbell and hid. The owners came out to find our gift. They took the pumpkin and put it on a pedestal as the feature of their display. The kids and I were grinning from ear to ear as we watched. We wanted them to know they were not alone, and that they have neighbors who really do care.

I thought it was very symbolic of the CHANGE we are all looking for in this election. Instead of arguing with the opposition, we did something to make our neighbors feel a little HOPE.

It was a SWEET TREAT for all.

Of course, some McCain supporters have other ideas. (Click here to see the video of a woman who would not give Halloween candy to children unless they support McCain.)