Friday, March 20, 2009

AIG Bailout Security Memo released a leaked security memo from AIG today, warning employees of the beleaguered financial company to use caution in the face of public rage regarding the use of taxpayer bailout monies for million dollar executive bonuses. During congressional hearings yesterday, AIG CEO Edward Liddy expressed concern for the safety of AIG employees and entered into the record a threat letter that said “All of the executives and their families should be executed with piano wire around their necks."

Comedian Stephen Cobert personified public sentiment by wielding a pitchfork and calling on the mobs to storm the gates. The security memo advised employees to avoid wearing AIG apparel, travel in pairs, and dodge conversations with the media. Some additional words of caution might include:

*Avoid piano repairmen, and cancel any symphony engagements involving a strings section.

*Carry your golden parachute with you at all times.

*Refrain from lighting cigars with hundred dollar bills, especially in public.

*Bulletproof your limo.

*Keep your “Get Out Of Jail Free” card on hand at all times.

Or, they could just , yanno, GIVE THE MONEY BACK!

Thursday, March 19, 2009

Pitbull Problem

I just got one of those viral "Warning" e-mails about Pitbulls. It said:

If you are an owner of a dog that belongs to a 'dangerous
breed category
and you also have a small child please take this as a
warning. Don't leave your
dog with the child unattended under any
circumstances. Only a little moment was
enough for the following to


Then I was directed to open the photo:

I've gotta tell you, it totally made may day. I once rescued a dog, a boxer mix, who was labeled as a Pitbull under Ohio law. Petey was the coolest, most laid back, gentle giant you could ever meet. He had the heart of a real softie, just like the dog in the photo above.

Now I don't want to lead people to believe they should not be cautious around these dogs. One thing I learned when working with wildlife is ALL ANIMALS CAN BITE. Caution is warranted. Especially when working with large animals that have the power and potential to do real bodily harm.
I almost lost my leg from an unfortunate incident with a horse many years ago, and still carry the scars. That horse was a sweetheart -- never meant me a lick of harm -- but she was a very large animal. She reared up when a tractor drove by and honked it's horn. We were riding on loose gravel. She lost her footing and fell over backwards. I was on top of her, and then underneath her. The saddle horn crushed my chest under her weight. My foot got caught in the stirrup. When she got up, she drug me about a hundred yards down the road. It nearly tore my leg off.

Big animals are dangerous. But that does not mean I no longer ride. And it does not mean large dog breeds should be eradicated as companion animals. It means proper training (for both animal and human handler) are in order. It means following good care and safety protocols. It means treating the animal in a loving responsible manner, and remembering risk exists in just about anything we do.

But as for me, well, I'll take those risks, because the wonder and joy of sharing my life with these animals is part of what makes life worth living.

My son with our ol' pal Petey.
(We miss ya buddy boy.)

Friday, March 13, 2009

Peter, Please Answer

This site is a riot! Go to Peter, Please Answer and ask a question. If you do it right, Peter will know the answer.

It works like this:

You need a typer, and a person to ask a question.

the typer is in on the trick.

The typer says "ask any question, and Peter will know the answer."

So the skeptical person will ask something like "What's my dogs name?"

The typer types the question into the computer, and WOW! Peter Knows!
"Sparky-Boo-Boo-Doggy" appears on the computer screen in big bold letters.

The person is amazed and asks several more questions.

How does it work?

Peter takes over the keyboard. When the typer is supposedly typing the question, he or she is actually typing the answer.

Try it. Its a blast!

Thursday, March 05, 2009

Ask and ye shall recieve

I'm laughing under my breath this morning in pure amazement at the universe.

I am thankful for my friend Maggie, my "spiritual eye-doctor" who always helps me see The Divine with 20/20 vision.

Maggie is a spiritual teacher who says we can receive whatever we need from the Universe.

All we need do is ask.

She meditates and prays for the energies she needs in her life. She visualizes what she wants, and when she can see clearly, in her minds eye, a picture of her desired future, she often finishes her meditation by exclaiming: "Thank You Very Much! I'll Have Some of That!"

I always smile when I hear that expression, especially when she is working with women's groups. I see their eyes light up with surprise.

She demonstrates the prayerful optimism of a woman who feels deserving of the gifts of the divine.

I think a lot of people are pleasantly surprised by this, because deep down they feel unworthy to ask, and unworthy to receive. (Yanno, the old born sinful and filled with guilt thing.) But not my Maggie. In her world, we are all beautiful, perfect, and deserving of the Divine. Which is a pretty cool way to approach life if you ask me.

I love that concept, and I love Maggie for spreading that energy around.

So why am I laughing? Because in yesterdays blog post, I was writing about folks who blog, and our need to feel appreciated once in a while.

*Ask and the Universe will answer. *

Yep. It sure will. Guaranteed.

"So you need a little shot in the arm KelBell?" The Universe asked. "No problem, You can Have Some of That. Step right up and receive your gifts."

(The Universe answered my blog post via e-mail.)

That's right folks, The Divine uses the Internet. Go figure.

Apparently my other blog, won an excellence in Blogging Award yesterday, which is strange, because I didn't even know I was in the contest and even stranger because the timing is so very "Twilight Zone".

(Cue the theme music: doo-doo,doo- doo...doo-doo,doo-doo)

Here is what the e-mail said:

Dear Kelley,

I wanted to let you know that your blog made it to the semi-finalist round of the Blogger Appreciation Awards. Our judges looked over thousands of nominations and yours was only one of 200 (less than 10% of the submissions) that has been recognized for blogging excellence. While you did not make the final round of voting, you should feel proud of this accomplishment, knowing that we determined your blog to be in the top 10% of all submissions.

We encourage you to let your readers know about your accomplishment by featuring this badge on your blog:


So the Universe knows I'm trying, and knows I was feeling a little discouraged. I was asking myself if it's worth it to keep writing, and the Universe answered my question by sending me some bogus little blogger award.

She sends me a boost. Not a boost big enough to blow my head up, not a "HEY YOU WON THE BEST BLOGGER IN THE WORLD AWARD", but just a little "Keep on Truckin" message to give me the hope and fuel I need to keep on typing and try even harder tomorrow.

Pretty Cool.

But even cooler, is my gift from Maggie, who sees The Divine at work in every little thing we do, every single day.

Ya gotta Love that.

Tuesday, March 03, 2009

Blogging communities

Blogging is about community. We set up our sites, connect to other sites, read each others posts, make comments, and make friends. We learn from each other. We experience the world through a wider lens. We are inspired by those amazing little insights we happen upon, and hope to inspire others in return.

We make each other laugh, and empathise with the struggles of people we have never even met.

But blogging is sometimes frustrating. When we write and hit the publish button, we are making a formal request to be heard.


Anybody out there?

Usually not.

Then comes the negative self talk. Nobody cares. Maybe my ideas are not valid. Maybe i don't have anything worthy to add to the conversation. Or a Stewart Smally of SNL might put it:

"I'm not good enough, I'm not smart enough, and nobody likes me."

Sometimes we go to blogs that get ten thousand comments for a post that consists of nothing but drivel. We look at an essay we wrote, or one of our on line friends wrote that clearly has heart and style and relevance, but garners nothing but a big fat goose egg on the stats page.

Hey if nobody is reading, whats the point?

Do you ever feel this way when you blog? If so, what makes you keep typing?

I have my reasons, which might be different than yours, but it is a subject I am exploring, and would like to learn more about. Ultimately, I believe this new world of Social Networking has the power to change the world, and I want to be a part of that. I believe when we empower individuals to speak their truth, and connect to one another, we all have the opportunity to grow as individuals, and improve our lives and the lives of those around us.

I see bloggers out there making a difference in the world of politics, by keeping the professional players honest, and by uniting large groups to pressure the establishment to do a better job.

I see artists and writers inspiring each other through their creative works.

I see self help groups banding together to help people work through their problems.

and beyond that, I feel so privileged to have had the chance to meet people out there who use their blogs to shine their own little lights, and just make my day a little brighter by sharing their souls with the world.

If you are out there, and I have seen your posts, Thank you. I can't even begin to tell you how many times I have smiled, or laughed, or had pause for thought because of the things you have shared.

Collectively, you have all made a difference. You have all inspired. You are all a part of this journey. And i for one, am better for it.

I thank you, one and all.

Kelley Bell