Monkey Balls

I've got monkey balls in my basement. Also known as hedge apples or horse apples, these lumpy fruits of the Osage Orange tree are known by many for their use as a spider repellent.

My tweenkin daughter just moved into the basement, for some much sought after teen privacy and "space" so we went a walking to find her some monkey balls.

A few days later, my husband spotted a spider by the fireplace. As he was about to evict the little sucker, a thought occurred to me, and I stopped him dead in his tracks.

"DO NOT TOUCH THAT SPIDER!" I cried.

"Let's do an experiment. I want to see if those monkey balls really work."

So the family gathered round the hearth, with green ball and flashlight in hand, watching the reaction of our little eight legged intruder, as "Deal or No Deal" blared on in the background, ignored.

Nothing.

Ol' spidy did not mind the monkey ball one bit.

So we cut it in half to see if that would do the trick.

Still no reaction.

"I wonder what kind of spider he is?"

"I don't know, but I'll bet he comes from Washington D.C."

"Why?"

"Because he sure is slow to react."

With that, the family consensus was to head off to bead, and resume our research in the morning.

Of course, our little guest was still there the next day, happily spinning his home a mere six inches away from the horrid hedge apple.

Our conclusion: either monkey ball magic is a myth, or we have a spider with the soul of Martin Luther King, for he has surely overcome.

Related articles by Zemanta

• Archery and What Bows are Made From
• Game Shows Can Sap Your Brains Out