Friday, May 05, 2006

Chicken Sh*t

When the civilized Cartesian rebels known as Puritans, (aka: immigrants) risked their lives to escape religious and political persecution in Europe, they knew they would face many dangers. They threw caution to the wind and crossed the ocean in rickety little slave ships, devoid of toilets, saying "Who careth how bad it smells!"

They gave up everything, from porridge to potatoes, to forge a new life in the wilderness of the America's. They were willing to risk their lives for Freedom, and multi colored Indian Corn.

This is our legacy, or heritage, and our proud history (that is if you skip the Indian part, and the slavery thing) But outside of those minor details, we can all stand tall when we salute the flag.

Yes indeed we are a strong nation and a brave people! There's no doubt about that.

So we set to work, killing off all the Bison,

Ridding the forests of Bear. (Yes, folks, once upon a time, there were forests 'round here.)

When they were gone, we turned our sights of Wolf, Cougar, Eagle, Hawk and Owl.

The resulting overpopulation of Deer was not a problem, cuz we gots a whole bunch of folks who likes ta shoot dem! (They don't bite back.)

Animals are here for us to do with as we will. We breed, butcher, hunt, skin, harvest, eat, own, break, train, torture, pen, rope, brand, crop, harness, race, hunt, package, whip em and wear em, whenever and wherever we want.

When it comes to the things of nature, we have convinced ourselves that the world is our plate of pancakes, and we re going to flip it, trip it, and drip it any way we darn well please,

and that ain't no flap, jack.

Of course, The States just weren't big enough fer all the killin we was prone to, so we came up with new and better ways to exploit the land, up north in Alaska.

But even that did not quench our thirst for destruction, so when there were no wild things left, we turned on the dog.

Man's best friend.

Cuz they is SCARY critters.

And we want to be "Safe."

As a nation, we are shaking in our shoes over all sort of fears and terrors these days. (Me thinks that brave stock we came from, has been watered down a teensy weensie bit.)

Now we are afraid of our food animals.

Look out for the Mad Cows!

Heck, we are even afraid of chickens.

Avian flu.

"Quick, KILL all the Chickens!"

Chicken genocide.

I wonder what would our Brave Founding Fathers think of all this yeller bellied sniveling?

I imagine they would think it fitting that we all die from infectious chicken Sh*t.

And maybe we should.


Rain said...

maybe we deserve it. ok we do deserve it. where did we get the idea that if they didn't suffer and die, we wouldn't be ok?

john_m_burt said...

Well, be fair: most of us don't actually *like* the idea of animals suffering and dying horribly for our convenience.

We just don't care.

Kelley Bell said...

Hi Rain!

The answer to your question is: Aberham

Hi John!

Very funny my satirical friend...

Glad to have you both drop in.

ME Strauss said...

If we only valued life more . . .

Just another American Expat said...

I understand your point, and have expressed similar views myself at times. But having lived outside the United States for the past 21 years, I can say-rather confidently-that the human condition is not any better in other parts of the world.

As for we Americans, and our horrible ways..well...consider this; had we not raped Hawaii, some European power would have. Alaska may be fortunate that we purchased it from the Russians. Think of Alaska in the hands of the Soviets for the last 50 years. Forests? Oil Fields? Comrade, they are here for the taking! In fact, consider the French and Spanish factor in the Americas. Had the English simply went home, chances are, you would be living in Third World poverty right now.

As for the bird flew thing, dumb fucks here in Europe have been killing cats out of fear!

Not being critical of your post, its just that things are not always so black and white; Usually it's a muddy mixture of grayish brown

Kelley Bell said...

Hi Liz,

Yes, Value, respect and appreciation for all life was exactly what I was hoping to inspire in this post.

I can always count on you to understand what Im talking about.

Thanks for the comment.

Kelley Bell said...

Hi Am-Ex,

How ya been?

You brought up some very good points here. It's amazing what a little travel will do to broaden ones perspective.

Just another American Expat said...

Yikes...Did I write "Bird Flew"?

Kelley Bell said...

Don't worry, I don't count off for spelling.


fineartist said...

Wow, John seems to have really hit the cow on the head, or is that nail?...Or maybe nailed the cow head to the wall, or is that deer's head? Well, he nailed something and I think it's the prevailing attitude of the people who breath, in and out, never stopping to care.

You nailed my pic too Kelly. I have, some would say, a slightly abnormal fixation on the Venus of Willendorf. I dig her and all of her ample luxurious curves, and what she represents to me. xxx, Lori

Writer Mom said...


I have this terrible condition lately of reading a post, thinking a comment, then moving along.
Perhaps a condition of Evian flu (You get it from the bottled water. Not chickens.) Warning signs: Delusions of telepathic powers.
Anyway, I saw somewhere that someplace is practicing their culling effectiveness.
Sounds like people just want to kill stuff and have a justifiable reason for it. Killing cats in Expat's neck of the woods, now that really pisses me off.
I stepped in so much chicken sh*t as a kid, I should be living in a bubble with 90% artificial life devices by today's freaked out standards of germophobia.
*I'm not sure if that made sense, but like I said. Evian flu. I'm spacey and have a short attention span.

(I've missed ya.)

Kelley Bell said...

You always warm my heart Writer Mom. Glad to have ya back on the boards babe.