My hubba-hubba-Hubby is a V.I.P., and V.P. for a big ol' Co. on the NASDQ. (But I'm supposed to keep that on the Q.T.), so I don't blog about him much.
This post is pretty innocent though, and it's all about ME, So I think it's O.K.
He is getting ready to hire a new employee, and we have this little tradition, where I bake homemade macademia nut cookies for him to take to work on the new hire's first day. Hubba-Hubba Honey takes them into work, puts them on the new employees desk, and then invites everyone to come by for cookies and meet the new guy.
Well, tonight my Hubba Hubba Hunk told me that the H.R. department is using Hubby and I as a Best Practice Corporate Example.
Ohhhh. Im so tickled with my sweet lil self, that I might just bake a DOUBLE batch for this lucky hire!
Wednesday, August 02, 2006
Everybody Sing: HOT, HOT, HOT...
Whew-eee, A WHOLE lotta weather we've been havin lately! Yessiree-Jim-bob-cattails, A WHOLE LOTTA WEATHER!
To beat the heat, I took the munchkins boating yesterday. We have a cool little jet boat called a Sea Rayder. It's really just a big jet ski, shaped like a boat. It's big enough for five people, while small enough to fit in my garage. It can do everything a jet ski can do: Spin a three-sixty, jump wakes, run right up to the beach, and skim across shallow water.
She has two names:
The Barbie Malibu Speedboat
and
The Pocket yacht.
Yesterday was rather amusing.
As those of you boaters know, the adventure of water sports is filled with amateurs. Folks who buy a boat and some beer, then head out fer some rip roarin fun. There is no such thing as a boating license in Ohio, and from what I have seen over the past twenty years, attendance in boater education courses remains abysmally low.
The place where this truth is most visible, is the marina.
At Alum Creek resivor, we have a four lane dock. This means FOUR boats: (4) boats, IIII boats... Can launch at a time.
Unfortunately, this should be, orderly procession, is ususally a clusterf*ck of idiots, who graduated from the zig-zag school of trailer towing. Then, there are also those poor souls who suffer from boater bulimia, and believe their trailer is SOOO WIDE, that they must use two lanes, and take their half out of the middle.
For the most part, the boating community is pretty tolerant of these fools, and those of us who have been around for awhile, are quick to lend a helping hand at the docks. (Finding help on the water when you raise a distress flag, is quite a different experience, however, as the beer boaters don't know what a distress flag is, and will blast right past you and wave, while watching you sink.)
Anyway, the point to this choppy narrative, is that I am always amused when guys see me launching with my crew of little kids. They assume right off the bat, that I am inexperienced, and in need of their help. While I appreciate their kind hearted attempts at chivalry, I am also offended by the assumed incompetence, because of my gender.
It has given me great pleasure, on hundreds of occasions, to back that baby into the lake, with precision accuracy, while my little swabbys jump to their posts, and launch our little pink Pocket yacht with enviable expertise.
The comments and expressions over the years have been priceless.
But, no one is perfect, no matter how hard we may try...and much to my chagrin, yesterday, I made a classic beer boater blunder.
I forgot to put the plugs back in the boat after our last trip.
What are plugs, you ask? Why plugs are the little corks in the back of the hull, that keep the boat from...
S
I
N
K
I
N
G
Oh, yes, my blogger friends. It was everything you might imagine; Mom and her two little tykes, toolin out on the lake, in the trajectory of a line graph, identical to President Bush's approval ratings.
It was not a pretty sight.
At first, I thought something was wrong with the engine, as I could not get enough power to make the bow plane out, so I checked the hold, and saw the water rising fast.
"Great Green Goddess, we're SINKING!"
"Kids, get the weight to the front!"
Bilge Pump:ON
Then, I did one of my famous 180 degree spins, full power, with her nose straight up in the air, like Camilla Parker Bowles, and flew for the beach, right thru the no wake zone, at top speed.
I felt like Quint, in the movie JAWS, when he pushes the Orca's engines past their breaking point, as the water is pouring in. HA!
HOOPER: "Quint! Quint! Shut it Down! She can't take anymore!"
QUINT: "Shadd-UP!" arghhh, matey. As he presses his shoulder into the already maxed out throttle.
We sped right past several shocked on lookers, ran her aground, and did a quick underwater repair job.
After that, we had a lovely day of boating, tubing, and swimming, complete with a slightly soggy picnic lunch.
What a way to beat the heat!
To beat the heat, I took the munchkins boating yesterday. We have a cool little jet boat called a Sea Rayder. It's really just a big jet ski, shaped like a boat. It's big enough for five people, while small enough to fit in my garage. It can do everything a jet ski can do: Spin a three-sixty, jump wakes, run right up to the beach, and skim across shallow water.
She has two names:
The Barbie Malibu Speedboat
and
The Pocket yacht.
Yesterday was rather amusing.
As those of you boaters know, the adventure of water sports is filled with amateurs. Folks who buy a boat and some beer, then head out fer some rip roarin fun. There is no such thing as a boating license in Ohio, and from what I have seen over the past twenty years, attendance in boater education courses remains abysmally low.
The place where this truth is most visible, is the marina.
At Alum Creek resivor, we have a four lane dock. This means FOUR boats: (4) boats, IIII boats... Can launch at a time.
Unfortunately, this should be, orderly procession, is ususally a clusterf*ck of idiots, who graduated from the zig-zag school of trailer towing. Then, there are also those poor souls who suffer from boater bulimia, and believe their trailer is SOOO WIDE, that they must use two lanes, and take their half out of the middle.
For the most part, the boating community is pretty tolerant of these fools, and those of us who have been around for awhile, are quick to lend a helping hand at the docks. (Finding help on the water when you raise a distress flag, is quite a different experience, however, as the beer boaters don't know what a distress flag is, and will blast right past you and wave, while watching you sink.)
Anyway, the point to this choppy narrative, is that I am always amused when guys see me launching with my crew of little kids. They assume right off the bat, that I am inexperienced, and in need of their help. While I appreciate their kind hearted attempts at chivalry, I am also offended by the assumed incompetence, because of my gender.
It has given me great pleasure, on hundreds of occasions, to back that baby into the lake, with precision accuracy, while my little swabbys jump to their posts, and launch our little pink Pocket yacht with enviable expertise.
The comments and expressions over the years have been priceless.
But, no one is perfect, no matter how hard we may try...and much to my chagrin, yesterday, I made a classic beer boater blunder.
I forgot to put the plugs back in the boat after our last trip.
What are plugs, you ask? Why plugs are the little corks in the back of the hull, that keep the boat from...
S
I
N
K
I
N
G
Oh, yes, my blogger friends. It was everything you might imagine; Mom and her two little tykes, toolin out on the lake, in the trajectory of a line graph, identical to President Bush's approval ratings.
It was not a pretty sight.
At first, I thought something was wrong with the engine, as I could not get enough power to make the bow plane out, so I checked the hold, and saw the water rising fast.
"Great Green Goddess, we're SINKING!"
"Kids, get the weight to the front!"
Bilge Pump:ON
Then, I did one of my famous 180 degree spins, full power, with her nose straight up in the air, like Camilla Parker Bowles, and flew for the beach, right thru the no wake zone, at top speed.
I felt like Quint, in the movie JAWS, when he pushes the Orca's engines past their breaking point, as the water is pouring in. HA!
HOOPER: "Quint! Quint! Shut it Down! She can't take anymore!"
QUINT: "Shadd-UP!" arghhh, matey. As he presses his shoulder into the already maxed out throttle.
We sped right past several shocked on lookers, ran her aground, and did a quick underwater repair job.
After that, we had a lovely day of boating, tubing, and swimming, complete with a slightly soggy picnic lunch.
What a way to beat the heat!
Sunday, July 30, 2006
A woman without her man is nothing
An English professor wrote the words:
A woman without her man is nothing
Then he asked the class to add the correct punctuation.
The men wrote:
“A woman, without her man, is nothing.”
The women wrote:
“A woman: without her, man is nothing.”
A woman without her man is nothing
Then he asked the class to add the correct punctuation.
The men wrote:
“A woman, without her man, is nothing.”
The women wrote:
“A woman: without her, man is nothing.”
Quote of the Day:
For a writer, anything less than three revisions, is extemporaneous.
-Kelley Bell 2006
-Kelley Bell 2006
Saturday, July 29, 2006
Lady in the Water
Hubbie and I took the munchkins to see Lady in the Water last night. The girl at the popcorn counter said she was dissapointed by the film, and that she spotted a microphone hanging from the top of the frame in several scenes.
I looked, but never saw it, but then again, I was so absored in the story, I could have missed it. It was scary and suspensful, but not grip the edge of your seat terror. It was more what I might call "light-hearted horror." It was a fun family film. A great way to share a little nightmare with the ones you love. My 8 and 11 year olds both dug it deep, and both ended up in our bed last night.
My son also announced that he does not want us to get a pool. LOL
What more of a compliment could M. Night Shymalan want?
Thursday, July 27, 2006
LOOKIE HERE!!!!!
I got My Blame Pet!
A few months ago I wrote THIS POST about a fun little creature called "The Blame."
I wrote a little jingle, to the tune of "if you're happy and you know it," and much to my amazment, the inventor of The Blame Pet,
Saw it,
Liked it,
and asked for the rights to use the song!
So today, two months later, on the exact day, and at the exact moment of my life when I could actually USE a Blame Pet, a box arrives on my doorstep from a wonderful fellow named Sergei in Berlin Germany.
This is so COOL!
Thanks Sergei!!!!! Danka Dude!!!!
Sing with me now:
If you're Guilty and ya know it...Pass The Blame (Clap Clap...)
Saturday, July 22, 2006
Book Excerpt: We are all ONE
Excerpt from my book, Reach for the Stars:
(Also known as; The 9437 pages of vomit which sits on my computer without a publisher!)
We peruse one ideal, that of bringing people together in peace, irrespective of race, religion and political convictions, for the benefit of mankind.
-Juan Antonio Samaranch
We are all One.
Once you realize this, and connect to it, you can see that the past, present, and future are all connected, just as we are all connected to each other. There is nothing separating us from each other, or from the past, or from the future. It is all part of the great eternal pulse. If you want your life to be extraordinary, all you need to do is follow this pulse. Use the gift of your consciousness to feel the Oneness of it all. Relax in knowing that you are here because you are supposed to be, and that the universe is operating exactly as it should.
Imagine holding a newborn baby in your arms, and feeling the joy of the miracle of life. Feel the wonderment and awe of the future, then you will know, without a shadow of a doubt, that there is no babe any more divine than another. Be it a Hindu Girl, or an Islamic boy, or a Christian child, or a pagan babe. They are all divine and pure and beautiful.
For that matter, I tell you that you can touch the face of God anywhere, anytime, any place. All is part of the One: The rocks, the trees, and the petal of a simple flower. It is not the task of human kind to debate and fight over what or who or how God exists, but rather the task is to seek it and touch it and allow it to touch you, at all times, everywhere, within everything.
Reject the debate. Reject the fighting.
We are all One.
(Also known as; The 9437 pages of vomit which sits on my computer without a publisher!)
We peruse one ideal, that of bringing people together in peace, irrespective of race, religion and political convictions, for the benefit of mankind.
-Juan Antonio Samaranch
We are all One.
Once you realize this, and connect to it, you can see that the past, present, and future are all connected, just as we are all connected to each other. There is nothing separating us from each other, or from the past, or from the future. It is all part of the great eternal pulse. If you want your life to be extraordinary, all you need to do is follow this pulse. Use the gift of your consciousness to feel the Oneness of it all. Relax in knowing that you are here because you are supposed to be, and that the universe is operating exactly as it should.
Imagine holding a newborn baby in your arms, and feeling the joy of the miracle of life. Feel the wonderment and awe of the future, then you will know, without a shadow of a doubt, that there is no babe any more divine than another. Be it a Hindu Girl, or an Islamic boy, or a Christian child, or a pagan babe. They are all divine and pure and beautiful.
For that matter, I tell you that you can touch the face of God anywhere, anytime, any place. All is part of the One: The rocks, the trees, and the petal of a simple flower. It is not the task of human kind to debate and fight over what or who or how God exists, but rather the task is to seek it and touch it and allow it to touch you, at all times, everywhere, within everything.
Reject the debate. Reject the fighting.
We are all One.
Monday, July 17, 2006
Please Sponsor My Worthy Quest for the Animals
I have just signed on for the 2006 24 hour blogathon to benifit The Ohio Wildlife Center.
On July 29, hundreds of bloggers from around the world will put their endurance to the test for charity, blogging every 30 minutes for 24 hours straight. This is the Sixth Annual International Blogathon, an event that creates a worldwide community for a day, serves up fascinating content, and most importantly, raises tens of thousands of dollars for dozens of charities. Bloggers choose the charity and collect sponsorships. At the end of the event, those sponsors fulfill their pledges directly with the charity.
So click the link and pony up a penny or two. Why not? You'll feel better at the end of the day, knowing that the spare change you found in the dryer is going to a worthy cause. I know, it's such a hassle. It's SOOO complicated to click that link, and fill out the form. Uggh, you might even need to get up out of that chair and walk into the other room to get your credit card, if you don't already have it on Paypal. Oh, and what's that darned Paypal password anyhow...
augh, screw it. Just click off to a porn site and forget about it.
NO! NO!, Don't! I was just kidding!
Click the link. Take the time. Show you care!
You can do it!
And I promise that I wont let you down. I will stay up all night, and post every half hour...and they will be Good Posts too.
Sponsor Me! I'll make ya proud!
Saturday, July 15, 2006
Time Flies
My husband and I were chit chatting about our house while doing the weekend chores.
"Can you believe we have lived here for ten years?"
"Wow. Has it really been that long?"
"Yup."
"Time flies when you're growing old."
"Well said Dear." He replied with a kiss and a smile.
I need a favor:
We are going out of town for the weekend and need a friend to water the plants while we are gone.
Please water them twice a day.
The ladder is in the garage.
Thanks!
(Todays laugh courtesy of my friend Sheri.)
Please water them twice a day.
The ladder is in the garage.
Thanks!
(Todays laugh courtesy of my friend Sheri.)
Monday, July 10, 2006
Living within the Truth
While leading a seminar at a local Women’s Career Center, the topic of stress reduction came up. I suggested several types of meditation and breathing techniques. A debate then erupted over “the right way” to do such practices, and the women expected me to judge, and proclaim the winner.
“Learn em all!” I ruled with enthusiasm. “Some are designed for calming the mind, others are for generating energy and fueling the metabolism. Some aid in extending deep muscle stretches, and some shift the mind into an alpha-theta brainwave pattern. If you only learn one, you are missing the boat!”
A woman in the group began laughing. “I LIKE this Lady! Anything goes with her.”
She pegged me. That is my philosophy. Do what ever you like. Explore it all! Try everything! Do not be constrained, or controlled, or limited by anyone or anything.
However, those who adopt this philosophy know from experience that the life of an explorer is wrought with potential danger.
All things in Balance
My life flows so peacefully, that I often look around at all the trauma and drama and wonder how I got so lucky. The answer to that is balance. I balance my “Go For It!” gumption with a little mantra I recite to myself every morning: “I choose to live a life of service and compassion, while living within the truth.” That’s my motto, and it has served me well.
Living a life of service offers the highest of all rewards. I measure my wealth by this standard, and I am one obscenely rich woman! I give to my family, my friends, my community, my earth, and myself, each and every day, and it fills my cup with abundance!
I discipline myself to greet each of life’s encounters with an attitude of compassion. The practice is often difficult, but it eliminates 90% of potential stress and strife.
Last, and perhaps most important, is that I live within the truth. Like superman, I never lie. I don’t lie to myself, and I don’t lie to others. This serves me well, in so many ways. Not only do I hold the trust of others, I have also learned to trust myself, and this is key.
You can not live a freewheeling “Go for It!” life if you don’t trust yourself. You must be able to listen to your feelings and trust your instincts. This is what keeps you out of harms way. It’s simple, it’s honest, and it Makes Life Grand!
© Kelley Bell 2006
“Learn em all!” I ruled with enthusiasm. “Some are designed for calming the mind, others are for generating energy and fueling the metabolism. Some aid in extending deep muscle stretches, and some shift the mind into an alpha-theta brainwave pattern. If you only learn one, you are missing the boat!”
A woman in the group began laughing. “I LIKE this Lady! Anything goes with her.”
She pegged me. That is my philosophy. Do what ever you like. Explore it all! Try everything! Do not be constrained, or controlled, or limited by anyone or anything.
However, those who adopt this philosophy know from experience that the life of an explorer is wrought with potential danger.
All things in Balance
My life flows so peacefully, that I often look around at all the trauma and drama and wonder how I got so lucky. The answer to that is balance. I balance my “Go For It!” gumption with a little mantra I recite to myself every morning: “I choose to live a life of service and compassion, while living within the truth.” That’s my motto, and it has served me well.
Living a life of service offers the highest of all rewards. I measure my wealth by this standard, and I am one obscenely rich woman! I give to my family, my friends, my community, my earth, and myself, each and every day, and it fills my cup with abundance!
I discipline myself to greet each of life’s encounters with an attitude of compassion. The practice is often difficult, but it eliminates 90% of potential stress and strife.
Last, and perhaps most important, is that I live within the truth. Like superman, I never lie. I don’t lie to myself, and I don’t lie to others. This serves me well, in so many ways. Not only do I hold the trust of others, I have also learned to trust myself, and this is key.
You can not live a freewheeling “Go for It!” life if you don’t trust yourself. You must be able to listen to your feelings and trust your instincts. This is what keeps you out of harms way. It’s simple, it’s honest, and it Makes Life Grand!
© Kelley Bell 2006
Friday, July 07, 2006
25 Peeps
Hey Gang,
This looks fun!
25 Peeps is a site where you post a photo of yourself. The photo must be of you and only you. Only 25 photos are shown at a time. The ones that get the most clicks rise to the top. The others fall to the wayside.
Each time someone clicks your pic, it sends them to your blog.
Liz Straus is on there right now, so go click her peep, and expose yours to the world too!
This looks fun!
25 Peeps is a site where you post a photo of yourself. The photo must be of you and only you. Only 25 photos are shown at a time. The ones that get the most clicks rise to the top. The others fall to the wayside.
Each time someone clicks your pic, it sends them to your blog.
Liz Straus is on there right now, so go click her peep, and expose yours to the world too!
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